Throwback Blog #35

My feedback from this entry is simply, sometimes you need to journal and get those thoughts out. This was one of those times when I needed to do that. Oh, and I see Myspace put my comments back on my blog, because, lo and behold, I was able to retrieve this one. Yay!
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Originally posted on Monday, October 08, 2007 at 1:55PM
Wedding Road Trip/ Slash and Burn/ Time to Be Selfish?
Current mood: thoughtful
Category: maybe a little nostalgic (Blogging )

Weddings are love.
My line-sister "C" got married a few weeks ago in Philly. Sigh....black love, black love. Mer and I took a road trip (ten hours - what were we thinking?) up there and had a wonderful time talking, getting lost, ogling men, abandoning diets, snapping on each other. We journeyed, drank, had a mini-reunion and a quick line-dance, and were back home before the weekend was over.
Congrats to the happy couple!
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Apparently, the theme for autumn is slash-and-burn - chop off the negative parts and burn them away - in my life, anyway. I'm doing it a lot lately. The rest of world is too. Look at the government and entertainment. Things are looking leaner than last year on a lot of fronts.
Whatever happened to nurturing problems until they heal properly, like wounds?
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I've been "She Who Gives of Herself Unceasingly" for the majority of my life - I'm talking time, money, favors, and talent - literally blood, sweat, and tears. God has blessed me immensely and I'm gotten to do, see, and experience such cool things, which I've directly correlated to my giving nature and kind spirit. Yeah...
I'm not claiming sainthood or anything, but I'm a good friend, sister, daughter, co-worker, home-girl, girlfriend, what have you. I'm drawn to professions and situations where giving and helping are core principles. I like being nice and it's rewarding to go above the call of duty and expectation on a regular basis. But don't you know.....
There comes a time in every woman's life when she realizes that she's not doing enough for herself - that she's giving too much, to the point where her lifeblood is being sucked away. (Sorry for the repeated blood references, but I'm re-reading Interview with a Vampire). I'm now in that time. My closest home-girl has harangued me with this notion for months and I've been slow to take stock of it - but I'm finally seeing it.
Actually....scratch that. I've known for a few years now that I need to slow my roll and give a little time to myself. I've been trying to have more "me-time". The Internet with all it's time wasters is a good method. So's consuming film and books and crafty stuff. Even the driving all over Atlanta, blasting music and singing loudly is "me-time". But I'm talking more loll-around-and-do-nothing time, more than a quick five minutes of silence. I'm talking an afternoon where I'm not obligated to do anything but be myself and breathe.
It's also "no-time". I've started saying "no" to a lot of stuff and people. I don't got to as many meetings and events that I used to. The volunteering and initiating projects and tasks is becoming less frequent. I'm avoiding people, places, and things that cause me stress or are toxic.
As a result, I'm already feeling stronger, less-stressed and happier. It didn't take reading a self-help book or attending a spiritual retreat. Just some common sense. I'm still not finished - I'm preparing to make a big move and life change. I still have a little guilt about not being the same old run-go-get-em girl.
But I'm saying no and if that's selfish - cool beans.
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Craving It
~ Some good news
~ iPhone
~ New laptop
~ My grandmother's stuffing (that we're having trouble replicating)
~ Cooler weather
~ A two-step partner
~ A housekeeper/personal assistant
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You know what to do . . . be easy.

Currently listening :
The Real Thing: Words And Sounds Vol. 3 [CD/DVD Combo] [Deluxe Edition]
By Jill Scott
Release date: 25 September, 2007
1:55 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos

Comment from: Mrs. LYRAKAL (my LS, "C", who's super-awesome)
First, I am so happy that you got that revelation about taking time out for yourself. Sometimes you can give so much to others that there's nothing left for YOU. And it's time that you start putting Monya first. So I applaud you and give you two pinkies up on what I know is a major step for you. Second, It was so good to see you girl!!! Having my sorors and better yet, lines sisters at my wedding truly made the evening even more special. And who knew we could actually remember that line dance from like five years ago....LOL!! I didn't know the two of you drove up here...WOW!! I feel the love!!! Now we can't let that be the last time we see each other for another year or two. Let's keep it going.....and I am so feelin you on the Jill Scott vibe......Love ya.
Posted by Mrs. LYRAKAL on Wednesday, October 24, 2007 - 10:34 PM