I went through a long phase of my life where I didn't trust many people. Most the people I got close to during that time, I've grown apart from or let the friendship die. Around the time I wrote this entry, I think I was finally coming out of that period in life and trying to rekindle or salvage friendships that I valued.
IT WAS A HARD TRANSITION, fam. I'd learned some pretty messed-up things about a person I called my best-friend, so I felt immensely hurt and foolish. I've had many classic "If I knew then, what I know now" moments, but it took me a long time to reconcile my regrets about my choice of past friendships. During that time, I spoke with a lot of psycho-babble and self-help speech, but it worked! I feel good about my current friendship choices, am building new relationship and am just a better, more trusting friend. I even forgave myself and those old friends, sticking the past firmly in its place.
So yeah, I think this blog was a therapy moment. Everybody needs those, now and then. My heartstrings still tugged when I read this, though - I've been through a lot and that blog showed it.
Be easy breezies! (And let go of the past, y'all).
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Originally posted on Tuesday, June 13, 2006 at 4:23pm
When you stop attracting the crazy folks...
Current mood: optimistic
Category: Hip-Hop Misogyny, be damned....
There are five people in my family. All of us are neurotic and eccentric - it's just our nature. There's our parents - the lovely and amazing Mommy and Dad - and the three munchkin daughters each with little quirks and issues.
- Munchkin 3 (the baby), who wants to be an artist but hasn't cultivated a single talent. She just flits from one art to the other. I worry about her but at the end of the day, art is 75% inspiration and she's got plenty of that. Moving on...
- Munchkin 2 (middle child syndrome in the worst way) has moved to cold a#$ Rochester, NY to pursue a degree she's not sure she wants. She'll be fine because she's a smart cookie and always seems to land on her feet.
- and Munchkin 1 (yours truly) is going through the quarter-life crisis and trying hard at being a grown up. I'm chillin' just trying to enjoy life and be happy.
Back in the day, we used to attract some crazy friends...people who made us look infinitely sane by comparison. I've had a string of homies with mental problems, self-esteem issues, irregular thought-processes, and just plain dumbness.
But (thankfully, right?) in the past few years, my friendship circle is evolving into some well-adjusted, works-in-progress just like me - Meredith, Dot, Jami J, my sisters, some sorors, and yes, my parents.
Am I wrong to be paranoid that the crazies will sneak back out and plant themselves firmly into my life?
I've been burned by pals who won't take their meds and try to transfer their issues unto my sensitive, bleeding heart. I'm a firm believer that your friends reflect you. Sane friends = sane Rowsbelle , right? So why do I look at my cell phone screen when I see a friend's number and think "Lord, what's about to pop off if I answer this phone?"
Anywhoo, since God truly knows what's jumping in other people's head. I guess I just need to keep moving in my own positive little cypher, attracting the positive folks and repelling the toxic "friends".
Okay, I'm not feeling paranoid anymore. And not a moment too soon. I'm starting to sound like a Dr. Phil/Iyanla Vanzant rip-off.
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Shouts out to my newest chapter sorors - 35 THW: Impenetrable Pearls! Ya'll almost killed me, but it was worth it. You're beautiful, intelligent, and CRUNK ladies of Alllllllllpha Kappa Alllllllllpha Sorority, Incorporated. Dang it, we always get the good ones (wink, wink). See you at the Greek Picnic. I'll be the one posted on the wall, too cute to stroll. (No. Seriously.) Pictures to come, if I ever stop being lazy and upload them.
Currently listening : Laffy Taffy By D4l Release date: 28 March, 2006
2 Comments (posted below):
From you serious??? - my Bennett friend, Kelli
Girl I truly agree with you on how the crazies can come into your life and disturb everything... I guess that's Gods way of telling us that sometimes we can be seen like that and we need to change to what we are suppose to be in His eyes... I totally understand and now what I do is.. I screen all of those new associates that I have made... when the screening is over then I make the decision as to what level of friend they are going to be if that and you know what ever since I have done that its worked.. So Screen those crazies out there because trust and believe they are screening those out there to latch on to and to disturb their peaceful lives..
lololol..
Kelli
Posted by Wow, are you serious??? on Jun 14, 2006 11:43 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]
From Wow, are you serious??? - a mistake Kelli made and I never removed
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